The movie “Bad Moms,” which comes out tomorrow (read my review here), divides up moms into two kinds: Good Moms and Bad Moms.
Mila Kunis’ character Amy says that with all the expectations placed on moms it’s impossible to be a good mom today. “So let’s be bad moms.”
Here’s basically how these two categories get divided up:
Christina Applegate, Jada Pinkett Smith and Annie Mumolo in a scene from, “Bad Moms.” (STX Productions)
Good Moms represented by Gwendolyn (Christina Applegate) and Co.
- Make her profession motherhood
- Lead the PTA with strict authority
- Are never late
- Never have anything go wrong with them (at least not in public)
- Surround themselves only with like-minded moms
- Judge other moms who don’t live up to their standards
- Always have breakfast, lunch and dinner made
- Do their children’s homework for them
- Overschedule their children
- Control all aspects of the school, including extra curriculars like sports teams
- Make it to every child-centered event
- Never would give their child anything with preservatives or allergens like wheat, dairy, peanuts or eggs
- Never have time for themselves
- Never spend quality time with their children
- Are supportive, subserviant wives
- Use black mail and threats to help their children get ahead
- Bully other moms, teachers and students
- Have no moral guidelines for themselves, but plenty for others
- Would never let loose
- Drive the SUV or minivan
Mila Kunis, Kristen Bell and Kathryn Hahn in a scene from, “Bad Moms.” (Michele K. Short/STX Productions)
Bad Moms represented by Amy (Mila Kunis) and Co.
- Have a career
- Don’t take any @#$% at work or at home
- Are always running late
- Have things go wrong in life like a sick dog or a spilled coffee
- Make friends with different types of women
- Don’t judge other moms (unless those moms go all judge-y on them)
- Let their children figure out how to make breakfast, lunch and dinner
- Don’t do their children’s homework
- Don’t over schedule their children
- Don’t intervene when the coach doesn’t put their child in
- Don’t always make it to every child-centered event
- Show up at the bake sale with store-bought, preservative-loaded baked goods
- Take time for themselves
- Take time for one-on-one dates with their children
- Stand up to spouses that aren’t sharing the parenting
- Let their children fight their own battles
- Try to get along with everyone (except the anointed Good Moms, who could get along with them?)
- Have strong moral guidelines
- Drink, sometimes too much
- Drive the seat belt-free red vintage convertible
Being a Bad Mom seems a lot better deal (except the drinking too much and the no-seat belt convertible).
Of course, “Bad Moms” should never be your guide.
There are many things in this movie that most moms would never do:
Destroy a grocery store late at night on a drunken binge
Drink and drive
Repeatedly go out at night, leaving their children …. where are the children?
Bring home a guy before the divorce papers are even considered
Not have seat belts for themselves or their children
Not show up at work and then be surprised when you get fired
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